Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize