You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
