Got a toothbrush?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
