Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
