I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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