Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Houston, we have a squirter
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
