I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
