youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
