You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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