Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
