i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
