U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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