Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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