I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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