You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
