shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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