so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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