yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
