So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
