they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
