Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
