WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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