let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
