ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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