So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
