I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
