i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
