She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i would punch a child for taco bell
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
This house was built for laser tag.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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