hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
