thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Randomize
