With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
