Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
