69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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