We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize