How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
