Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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