I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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