I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so explain again why im purple
no
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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