shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
