can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
