I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize