I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
