Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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