he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
