there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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