What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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