haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
