The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
