she kept yelling 'call me bella'
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
