i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
