Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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