420 ftw
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
