They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How naked do you want me to be?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
