I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
