just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
