I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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