Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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