When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
