If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
