Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
