Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
