Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
