I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
