You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
