I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
