are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
