So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
