you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
